Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
