I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dicks are not precious.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
