Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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