He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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