Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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