he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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