Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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