Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
