I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
