I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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