Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
