you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
