This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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