im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
