just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
