i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
