Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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