Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
