I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
