physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
