Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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