how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
