My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize