...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
