: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
