Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
