No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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