1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
