Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
