I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He? As in you personified your dick?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
