in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
