I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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