Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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