Having a random hookup so left but love u
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
