I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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