butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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