the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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