just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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