My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize