Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
