I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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