If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
A+ Viking dick
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
