He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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