I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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