Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
