Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
