After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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