i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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