Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
