why didn't you poke me back
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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