Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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