We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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