My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
