I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
