She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize