I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
and you fell through a lawn chair
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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