i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
