I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
