Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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