Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
