id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
