I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
