Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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