I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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